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On The Bricks Archives

 

Monthly Archives: May 2017

May 25, 2017

The next fundamental technique in handling people lesson Dale Carnegie teaches in How to Win Friends and Influence People is that you should arouse in the other person an eager want. As you read this you’ll probably be able to think of a friend or two that do this … and think of Tom Sawyer and the painting of the fence.

“Andrew Carnegie, the poverty – stricken Scotch lad who started to work at two cents an hour and finally gave away $365 million, learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants. He attended school only four years; yet he learned how to handle people.

“To illustrate: His sister – in – law was worried sick over her two boys. They were at Yale, and they were so busy with their own affairs that they neglected to write home and paid no attention whatever to their mother’s frantic letters.” Remember this book was published in the 1930s.

“Then Carnegie offered to wager a hundred dollars that he could get an answer by return mail, without even asking for it. Someone called his bet; so he wrote his nephews a chatty letter, mentioning casually in a postscript that he was sending each one a five – dollar bill.

“He neglected, however, to enclose the money.

“Back came replies by return mail thanking ‘Dear Uncle Andrew’ for his kind note and – you can finish the sentence yourself.

“Another example of persuading comes from Stan Novak …. Stan came home from work one evening to find his youngest son, Tim, kicking and screaming on the living room floor. He was to start kindergarten the next day and was protesting that he would not go. Stan sat down and thought, ‘If I were Tim, why would I be excited about going to kindergarten?’ He and his wife made a list of all the fun things Tim would do such as finger painting, singing songs, making new friends. Then they put them into action.

“’We all started finger painting on the kitchen table – my wife, my other son, and myself, all having fun. Soon Tim was peeping around the corner. Next, he was begging to participate.

“’Oh, no! You have to go to kindergarten first to learn how to finger – paint.’ With all the enthusiasm I could muster I went through the list talking in terms he could understand – telling him all the fun he would have in kindergarten.

“’The next morning, I thought I was the first one up. I went downstairs and found Tim sitting sound asleep in the living room chair. ‘What are you doing here?’ I asked. ‘I’m waiting to go to kindergarten. I don’t want to be late.’ The enthusiasm of our entire family had aroused in Tim an eager want that no amount of discussion or threat could have possibly accomplished.’

“If salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help us solve our problems, they won’t need to sell us. We’ll buy. And customers like to feel that they are buying – not being sold.

“The world is full of people who are grabbing and self – seeking. So, the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.”

There is a Main Street Lunch and Learn on May 31 at the Guymon Fire Department classroom. Brayden Lehew is going to teach everyone how to do a CAHOOTS quiz, which can be a great help in livening up a small audience and getting them to pay attention to your presentations. It will take place from noon to 1 pm and if you want lunch, bring a brown bag! For more information, call Melyn Johnson at 338-6246 or email Director@MainStreetGuymon.com. See you there!

How was that for enthusiasm?

Catch you on the bricks.

May 22, 2017

Some of the ways that Dale Carnegie writes makes me smile. He says, “Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself?” How is that for a great way to start out? I loved it.

Later he goes on to say, “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

“Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest novelists ever to enrich English literatures, to give up forever the writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English poet, to suicide.

“Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? ‘I will speak ill of no man,’ he said, ‘… and speak all the good I know of everybody.’

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self – control to be understanding and forgiving.

“’A great man shows his greatness,’ said Carlyle, ‘by the way he treats little men.’”

So, Dale Carnegie says that we need to keep our words kind. He tells us if we want to win friends and influence people we need to not criticize, condemn or complain. He is so right.

This week let’s watch our words and listen to whether we’re criticizing, condemning or complaining. How do we sound to others? Think kind. Be kind. Speak kind.

Pioneer Days is over. Start your kind days by saying thank you to those who worked so hard to bring such a wonderful celebration to our community. Thank the businesses who sponsor parts of it.

And I’ll see you on the bricks!

May 15, 2017

The big secret to dealing with people is the next part of the book, How to Make Friends and Influence People, that I’m sharing with you. It’s impossible to deny that we have to deal with people all the time and it’s best to find out the best way.

According to Dale Carnegie, “There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.”

He goes on to say that “the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important. Some of the things most people want include health, food, sleep, money, life in the hereafter, sexual gratification, the well – being of our children, and a feeling of importance.

“Almost all of these want are usually gratified – all except one. But there is one longing – almost as deep, almost as imperious, as the desire for food or sleep – which is seldom gratified. It is what Freud calls ‘the desire to be great.’ It is what Dewey calls the ‘desire to be important.’

“William James said, ‘The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.’ He didn’t speak, mind you, of the ‘wish’ or the ‘desire’ or the ‘longing’ to be appreciated. He said the ‘craving’ to be appreciated.

“Here is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger, and the rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his or her hand and even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies.”

So, we need to show our appreciation of others. But it needs to be an honest showing.

“When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth.

“One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation. Somehow, we neglect to praise our son or daughter when he or she brings home a good report card, and we fail to encourage our children when they first succeed in baking a cake or building a birdhouse. Nothing pleases children more than this kind of parental interest and approval.

“The next time you enjoy a meal at a restaurant, send word to the chef that it was excellently prepared, and when a tired salesperson shows you unusual courtesy, please mention it.”

So, our lesson today from Dale Carnegie is to give honest and sincere appreciation.

It’s a good habit to have. Let’s all be aware of the difference our positive words can be to people this week. Hand out as many deserving compliments as you can.

And I’ll see you on the bricks!

May 12, 2017

Some of the ways that Dale Carnegie writes makes me smile. He says, “Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself?” How is that for a great way to start out? I loved it.

Later he goes on to say, “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

“Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest novelists ever to enrich English literatures, to give up forever the writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English poet, to suicide.

“Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? ‘I will speak ill of no man,’ he said, ‘… and speak all the good I know of everybody.’

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.

“But it takes character and self – control to be understanding and forgiving.

“’A great man shows his greatness,’ said Carlyle, ‘by the way he treats little men.’”

So, Dale Carnegie says that we need to keep our words kind. He tells us if we want to win friends and influence people we need to not criticize, condemn or complain. He is so right.

This week let’s watch our words and listen to whether we’re criticizing, condemning or complaining. How do we sound to others? Think kind. Be kind. Speak kind.

Pioneer Days is over. Start your kind days by saying thank you to those who worked so hard to bring such a wonderful celebration to our community. Thank the businesses who sponsor parts of it.

And I’ll see you on the bricks!

May 9, 2017

For years people have been saying that the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is such a great read. Ignoring them, I kept to my usual and only read trashy novels that were totally for entertainment. But recently I cleaned out the desk and there were five books there that were on the “Good for You” read list.

Last week traveling to the National Main Street Conference, I packed the book, “How to Win Friends …” by Dale Carnegie. The famous Carnegie family comes from Pennsylvania. My conference was in Pennsylvania. Seemed like fate.

Reluctantly I picked up the book. Soon I couldn’t put it down and read on and on. Devoured it in two days and even attended the conference classes! Such sensible statements in that book, which was first published in 1936. I cannot help but share some of the tidbits with you. It isn’t that you need more friends, it’s just interesting conversation.

Carnegie says that the only knowledge that sticks in your mind is that you use. So, yes, that means I need to start practicing some of this grand advice. Great. But getting new friends and influencing people should be fun.

“It is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try to understand the other person’s viewpoint; it is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise; it is more natural to talk about what you want than to talk about what the other person wants; and so on.” Yep, he says it straight out in the beginning of the book that these are not the sort of habits that garner favor for you from other people. That if these are your norm, it is time to form new habits.

“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.” Certainly not the way to a person’s heart. Even if you think you’re doing it for “their own good”.

One of his explanations on this topic was a favorite. “George of Enid, Oklahoma, is the safety coordinator for a company. One of his responsibilities is to see that employees wear their hard hats whenever they are on the job in the field. He reported that whenever he came across workers who were not wearing hard hats, he would tell them with a lot of authority of the regulation and that they must comply. As a result he would sullen acceptance, and often after he left, the workers would remove the hats.

“He decided to try a different approach. The next time he found some of the workers not wearing their hard hat, he asked if the hats were uncomfortable or did not fit properly. Then he reminded the men in a pleasant tone of voice that the hat was designed to protect them from injury and suggested that it always be worn on the job. The result was increased compliance with the regulation with no resentment or emotional upset.”

Good thoughts to consider in how we deal with people.

Other good thoughts about what’s going on in Guymon to share today too! The Guymon High School Powerlifting team is looking for odd jobs to help pay for their state championship rings. Then strong young men are available to help you with any odd jobs you might have. Call Head Coach John Richmond to schedule an athlete. His numbers are 806-893-2278 or 580-338-4350 or email John.Richmond@GuymonTigers.com.

Garrett Martinez won the Best Overall Pioneer Day Beard. Congrats to him! The traditional contest was brought back by Brown and Associates Insurance. Great idea!

The Panhandle State Rodeo Team (men and women) broch home the team titles from the recent OPSU Rodeo and the last one of their season. I’m thinking these guys may be bringing home another national title this year. Keep watching because good stuff is happening with these teams. They’re impressive.

See you all on the bricks!

May 3, 2017

Sometimes we just need to get an attitude adjustment. And it is good to get one before something forces one on us.

I read about a preacher going to visit a woman named Judy who was dying of cancer. Judy told the preacher, “You know, before I got cancer I used to think what was important was a clean house, great looking clothes, and always having my hair fixed. But what is important for me now is spending time with God and my family.”

We need to be reminded what is really important.

Monica Ronne and I were visiting about the Iron Thunder Five State Motorcycle Run that is coming up. Monica and her husband, Shawn, volunteer for the Outback on Friday evening and for the run on Saturday. She told me last week that it was nine years ago when Iron Thunder helped buy their son Austin’s wheelchair.

We need to remember those who have been there for us and for our friends. We need to step up when they need help. Whether it is Pink Heals, Panhandle Partners, Rotary, Lions Club, Iron Thunder, or whomever … if they’ve helped someone we love then we need to pitch in for them.
They are some of the people who are important.

My hope is that you take some time during this Pioneer Days and spend it with someone who is important. Whether you go to the Rotary BBQ, watch the parade, take a tot to the carnival, attend the rodeo, or walk through the Mercantile, may you have that time to enjoy and share.

And if you’re not one of the hundreds who work to make Pioneer Days happen, take a moment to thank someone who does. We are so lucky to have such a fantastic event here to enjoy, of that I am certain.

“There is only one thing about which I can be certain,” said author Somerset Magham, “and that is that there is very little about which one can be certain.”

Have a wonderful Pioneer Days and I’ll see you on the bricks!