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On The Bricks

May 12, 2020

Does a woodchuck actually chuck wood? The Book of Bizarre Truth gives us the answer.

          How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

          A woodchuck (Marmota monax) is a groundhog. In the Appalachians, it is known as a whistle pig. According to etymologists, the word woodchuck is probably derived from early colonial British settlers who bastardized wuchk, the local Native American word for groundhog. They simply transformed the Algonquian word into an English word that sounded similar.

          No studies have proven that woodchucks are capable of chucking wood, though there is ample evidence that woodchucks enjoy gnawing through wood. Woodchucks are adept at chucking dirt. The average woodchuck is quite a burrower. Their tunnels have been known to be more than 45 feet long, with depths of several feet. Based on these measurements, one woodchuck expert determined if the displaced dirt in a typical burrow was replaced with wood, the average whistle pig might be able to chuck about 700 pounds of it.

          But not wood. He would if he could, but he can’t.

          Famous Okie information: Woody (Woodrow Wilson) Guthrie, the famous folk singer and composer (“This Land is Your Land”) was born in Okemah, Okla.

Keep going on Your New Year’s resolutions: Stop multi – tasking. It can lead to memory problems, reduces brains grey matter, hurts productivity and efficiency, and can increase stress, anxiety, and depression. Focus on one thing at a time.

Made me laugh: The lady walking ahead of me sped up, so I did. She began walking faster, so I did. She started running, so I did. She started screaming, so I did. I don’t know what we were running from, but I was terrified.

          See you on the bricks soon! Stay safe.

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