The big secret to dealing with people is the next part of the book, How to Make Friends and Influence People, that I’m sharing with you. It’s impossible to deny that we have to deal with people all the time and it’s best to find out the best way.
According to Dale Carnegie, “There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.”
He goes on to say that “the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important. Some of the things most people want include health, food, sleep, money, life in the hereafter, sexual gratification, the well – being of our children, and a feeling of importance.
“Almost all of these want are usually gratified – all except one. But there is one longing – almost as deep, almost as imperious, as the desire for food or sleep – which is seldom gratified. It is what Freud calls ‘the desire to be great.’ It is what Dewey calls the ‘desire to be important.’
“William James said, ‘The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.’ He didn’t speak, mind you, of the ‘wish’ or the ‘desire’ or the ‘longing’ to be appreciated. He said the ‘craving’ to be appreciated.
“Here is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger, and the rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his or her hand and even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies.”
So, we need to show our appreciation of others. But it needs to be an honest showing.
“When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth.
“One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation. Somehow, we neglect to praise our son or daughter when he or she brings home a good report card, and we fail to encourage our children when they first succeed in baking a cake or building a birdhouse. Nothing pleases children more than this kind of parental interest and approval.
“The next time you enjoy a meal at a restaurant, send word to the chef that it was excellently prepared, and when a tired salesperson shows you unusual courtesy, please mention it.”
So, our lesson today from Dale Carnegie is to give honest and sincere appreciation.
It’s a good habit to have. Let’s all be aware of the difference our positive words can be to people this week. Hand out as many deserving compliments as you can.
And I’ll see you on the bricks!