September 3, 2019
Last week I encouraged everyone to take a day off from work and enjoy themselves on the day of my birth (Sept. 2 is my birthday). I noticed many did close shop and relax last Monday and I appreciate all those who got into the real spirit of the day.
When people are kind and caring to you, it makes your heart go soft, your eyes tear up, and you soul is humbled.
Then they have a surprise 60th birthday party for you at the Pub on the Bricks. A surprise to the extent that I was shocked. When I started opening the cards, the shock even went deeper. Almost traumatic.
“In horse years …” said the front of the card my brother, who traveled from Colorado to be there, said. “… you’re glue.”
You know, I thought growing old would take longer.
And my brother wasn’t content with the one card, but gave me another. “Just think …” said the front. “At your age, this might be the last birthday card you ever read.”
You see where the trauma was coming in? He should have given me a gift card for therapy as a present.
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
“You’re not old if you can still blow out all your birthday candles …” said the card my sweet children and darling grandchildren signed. “… without farting.” Oh my.
My dear friend Terry Brand gave me some very ummmm, unique, gifts along with a card that read, “Got you this designer birthday card for a fraction of what it would normally cost because it has a slight flaw in it. (open card) Merry Christmas!” Can’t fault anyone for saving a few pennies.
I loved the purple fly swatter with the big flower on it. But the unicorn horn headpiece really looking a little on the shady side. As did some other things in the sack (which all made me laugh). Terry spent some time finding those gifts, but she stayed frugal, which she knows I appreciate.
My father gave me a card (it was his birthday, too, by the way) that had an old hag on the front and it read, “Getting older has its advantages. (open card) Nobody wants to borrow your clothes.” This stems from my family always making fun of my fashion sense, or lack of it. It doesn’t help that my clothing is not the size of a normal persons, either.
You see, I broke up with my gym. We just weren’t working out.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.
Might as well be honest, being cremated is my last hope for a smoking, hot body.
My friend Jada and her husband, Robert Breeden, drove from Spearman to be there. Good friends like that are hard to find. The card Jada found for me said, “Oh please – don’t cry because you’re getting older … (inside) … cry because others are stupid and it makes you sad.”
That is funny. Especially since Jada and I every single day get phone calls from people wanting us to give them a phone number and we pick up our phone books and give them the number. Every. Single. Day. Are we the only people in town that know how to use a phone book these days? Makes me wonder.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
If you can’t find your phone book and don’t understand the scientist’s statement, then all I can add is “I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”
I’m not mean, I’m brutally honest. It’s not my fault truth hurts. Here’s a band aid.
So, at the table were my friends who don’t easily get their feelings hurt, who laugh easily, and who are the best people on this earth. It was a wonderful evening. Sitting next to me was my cousin Ronda Holt and we visited and visited. We think we’re funny.
Sitting next to Ronda was her husband, Kevin. He might have said five words all evening. He’s quiet. Across the table from him was Jason Hitch. He’s not loud or obnoxious, but sort of quiet, too.
There’s a shirt I should order for Robert Breeden, Kevin, and Jason. It says, “Introverts unite. We’re here. We’re uncomfortable. And we want to go home!” I am pretty sure that everyone of them was only at the birthday dinner because their wife told them they needed to be. Love them all!!
The shirt that I would buy for myself and Jada says, “You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? Yeah, I don’t have one of those.” In fact, quite a few of my friends have probably earned that shirt.
The birthday party was an evening of wonderment. Good friends. All my children at the tables, visiting with friends. My parents. The spouses of them all. Truly the thing that dreams are made up of.
My brother’s wife is the nicest person in our family and she gave me a card that said, “If you’re wondering how the years have gone by so quickly … it’s because time flies when you’re busy bringing happiness to others and making your own special mark on the world.” That is a sentiment that should be said to all those that came, many who took the time to call and send sweet notes.
Thank you to everyone that made my birthday special. May the Lord bless you and keep you and send love and kindness to you on your birthday, too.
See you on the bricks!